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Living la vida libido: Top tips for amazing menopausal sex

Discover everything you need to know to begin an exciting new chapter in sex and pleasure during the menopause and beyond.



The menopause can certainly heat things up in the bedroom — although not quite in the way you’d like. Common symptoms like hot flushes and nights sweats, and vaginal dryness can easily dampen your sex drive, but it doesn’t mean your love life is over. 

Far from it, in fact! 

Rather than signalling the end of your sex life, the menopause can mark an exciting new chapter and an opportunity to get creative and rediscover great sex and pleasure.

Read on for our tips on how to increase sex drive and have great sex during the menopause transition.

Say goodbye to vaginal dryness

One of the reasons women lose interest in sex during the menopause transition  is vaginal dryness. This happens due to a natural decline in the body’s oestrogen levels during the menopause transition. Vaginal tissue can become thinner, drier and more easily irritated, which leaves many women experiencing painful sex and day to day irritation, something no woman should have to contend with. 

Menopause vaginal dryness statistic

Addressing this symptom and establishing a routine to get your vulva and vagina feeling happy and healthy again is key to helping you enjoy great sex throughout and after the menopause. 

There is a range of products that can help, and it may take some experimenting to find out what works best for you. 

A healthy supply of lubrication may be all that you need to help make sex more enjoyable. Make sure to check the ingredients list when buying a lubricant and avoid things like glycerin, propylene glycol, perfumes and parabens, which can upset the delicate pH balance of the vagina and cause irritation. 

We love YES, YES, YES products because they include all pure, natural and certified organic ingredients and are designed with intimate health in mind. 

While lubricants are for use during sex, if you find you need additional everyday hydration, a vaginal moisturiser like this one can help improve tissue hydration which lasts up to a few days. 

Vaginal moisturising gel

Yes water based vaginal moisturising gel

If you require further treatment, you may want to explore HRT (hormone replacement therapy) or vaginal oestrogen. You can discuss what treatments are most appropriate for your symptoms with your GP or book a consultation with one of our menopause specialists

For a comprehensive guide to overcoming vaginal dryness during sex, check out this blog post and watch the below video.

Supercharge your sex drive

If you’ve noticed a loss of libido, you’re not alone. Research shows almost half of menopausal women experience a loss of sex drive. 

Menopause loss of sex drive statistic

Sex drive can be impacted by many factors, including work and family commitments, exercise, and alcohol consumption. 

On top of these everyday stresses, throughout the menopause transition, many changes happen within the body that can have an effect both physically and psychologically, so it’s no surprise that our sex drive can take a hit. 

Once you’ve addressed any vaginal dryness that makes sex difficult or painful, it’s time to get creative and start enjoying an exciting new sexual adventure. 

Best sex toys for the menopause 

Regardless if you’re a sex toy pro or have never picked up a vibrator before, if you’re looking to rediscover pleasure and sex, it could be worth treating yourself to a sex toy designed with the menopause in mind. 

Image of Gwen - clitoral vibrator

Gwen – clitoral vibrator

Clitoral vibrators like this one are an excellent option to help you enjoy sex again without the pressure of penetration. Enjoy some solo pleasure or, if you feel comfortable, try introducing one into sex with your partner.

There are also products that work to reduce painful sex, including dilators, which can help increase vaginal elasticity, and Ohnut, which allows you to control the depth of penetration. Using a slim vibrator or dildo can help increase confidence that penetration is possible—and if it is not, prompt you to ask for help.

Watch our experts discuss the best sex toys and lubricants for menopausal women in this video:


Embrace a positive mindset 

Let’s face it, sex during the menopause has a bad reputation, and it’s easy to get caught up in the disruptive physical symptoms, but these can be managed with the right treatments, and there are plenty of positives to focus on too.

Period-free pleasure 

It’s an obvious one, but think back to all the times you wanted to have sex, but cramps, boating and the idea of messy bedsheets put a stop to it. You’re now free — go and rejoice!

Let go of inhibitions 

You may not have known what you wanted from sex earlier in your life, or you were too afraid of being judged to communicate that with your partner. Now that you’re (hopefully) more comfortable with who you are, it’s the perfect time to explore and enjoy your sex life. 

Think about what fantasies you have, try reading erotic literature or listening to audio books for inspiration, masturbate more, and explore different techniques and positions. Understanding your body so you know what gives you pleasure and having the confidence fulfil your desires will result in great sex. 

How can sex help menopause?

We’ve talked about how some of the symptoms of the menopause can have an adverse impact on your sex life, and the things you can do to get back your sex drive and enjoyment of sex — but how about the other way round?

A healthy sex life is integral to our physical and mental health. Vaginal sex will help maintain tissue elasticity, so if you are starting to experience symptoms, it’s important to ask for help as soon as possible to maintain an active sex life in the future. Regular sex can also be good for the vagina and clitoris by stimulating blood flow and helping keep your pelvic muscles toned. 

Research shows that orgasms can help lower stress levels, so you may find that by enjoying great sex, other symptoms, such as anxiety, start to decrease — and physically connecting with your body and your partner may help you relax, switch off, and soothe your frazzled mind. 

What better excuse to get back into bed? 


Book a consultation

Whether you want to discuss your symptoms, create a treatment plan that's right for you, understand some test results or have a check-up, the highly experienced doctors and nurses in our menopause clinic are here to help you.

Book now

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