Menopause and relationships: how to talk to your family

We all know the old adage ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ and it couldn’t be truer for the menopause. But it can be hard to know how to reach out to our loved ones – whether that’s our partner, children, or even friends – especially when we’re not feeling ourselves.

The following are some simple strategies from women we’ve talked to – women like you – which they used to start conversations at home and which have changed their lives for the better.

How do I explain menopause symptoms to my family?

Explaining menopause to your husband or partner

Stoicism is not our friend – we women can be terrible at keeping things to ourselves, concerned we’ll worry friends and family. Many women see struggling with symptoms as a personal failing and do not, therefore, want to talk about or admit symptoms they are experiencing – but this is all the more reason to talk about them. You may find out you’re not alone in how you are feeling (so that’s why your yoga mate kept cancelling coffee…).

Sharing what you’re experiencing can also help improve relationships at home – chances are your family realise you’re not yourself but aren’t sure why. You may all feel a weight lift once you start openly discussing the menopause and the symptoms you’re experiencing.

How to talk to children about menopause

It’s only by talking that we break down taboos. Discussing the menopause might seem challenging but think of it as a way to empower the young people in our lives so they don’t have to experience what we have. The important thing is to do it on your terms  – whether that’s over pizza on the sofa on a Friday night or when you’re out on a walk together, whether it’s a full-blown outpouring or sharing nuggets as they arise. This is your menopause and talking about how you want to is all that matters.

Ask for practical support at home

You don’t need to wait until things feel unmanageable to ask for help. Explain what would make a difference – sharing dinner duties, having some quiet time, or getting help with the school run. If symptoms are affecting your daily life, speak to your GP or a menopause clinician.

Talk about changes in intimacy without pressure

Tell your partner if your desire, comfort, or confidence has changed. Explain what feels good, what doesn’t, and what you’d like – without putting pressure on yourself to have sex.

Low desire can have several causes, including hormonal changes, discomfort, mood, medication, and relationship difficulties. If changes are troubling you, or sex is painful, speak to a healthcare professional.

For more advice, read our guide to low sex drive during menopause.

Simple ways to start the conversation

You don’t need a perfect explanation. Start with what’s happening for you and one thing that would help.

To your family:

“I’ve been sleeping badly and feeling more tired. The evening rush is getting harder. Could we share dinner and clearing up?”

To your partner:

“I’d like to tell you what menopause has been like for me. You don’t need to have all the answers – I’d really like you to listen.”

To younger children:

“My hormones are changing, and sometimes I feel hot or tired. You haven’t done anything wrong, and you can always ask me questions.”

If you’re in immediate danger or feel unable to keep yourself safe, call 999 or go to A&E now. For urgent mental health support, ask for an urgent GP appointment. To talk to someone, you can also call Samaritans free, day or night, on 116 123.