Best sex toys for menopause low libido

Menopause can change how sex feels, but the right toy can help make pleasure more comfortable and enjoyable. We explore what to look for when choosing the best sex toys for menopause, and tell you some of our favourites.

What to look for when buying sex toys for menopause

The best sex toy is one that feels comfortable, suits the kind of stimulation you enjoy, and gives you plenty of control. Menopause can affect lubrication, sensation, arousal, and the comfort of penetration, so what worked before may not be what feels best now.

Look for smooth, non-porous materials, such as body-safe silicone, which are comfortable against sensitive skin and easy to clean. If you’re experiencing dryness or irritation, choose a toy without pronounced ridges or textures, and use plenty of lubricant. Water-based lubricant is compatible with most toys, while silicone-based products may damage some silicone toys, so check the manufacturer’s instructions.

Adjustable settings can be particularly useful if your sensitivity has changed. A vibrator with gentle lower speeds allows you to build up gradually, while an external vibrator may be a better starting point if penetration is uncomfortable. If you do want an internal toy, consider a slim design or one that lets you control the depth and pressure.

Practical details matter too. Look for simple controls, a shape that’s easy to hold, and clear cleaning instructions. Buying from a reputable retailer also makes it easier to check the materials, product guidance, and returns policy.

Sex toys can support arousal, comfort, and pleasure, but they aren’t a treatment for persistent pain. Don’t try to push through discomfort – speak to a doctor or pelvic health physiotherapist if sex remains painful or you notice bleeding, unusual discharge, or ongoing soreness.

Before we get into specific products, remember this is about reigniting your love for pleasure, enjoyment and touch; try not to put too much pressure on reaching orgasm, which you may be finding difficult at the moment due to decreased sensitivity.

If you’re looking for practical pleasure tips and or want to learn how to bring yourself to orgasm in a different way OMGYes is a website focussed entirely on women’s sexual pleasure and is an excellent resource to help women explore their bodies with or without a partner.

Menopause sex toy recommendations

The following products are all recommended by the founder of Pelvic Relief, Eleanor Gardner, who is passionate about helping women overcome issues like painful sex and allow them to get back to enjoying a happy and healthy sex life. 

Good vibrations

There is a well-known orgasm gap between men and women –  research suggests that around 80% of women never orgasm through penetration alone, which is where vibrators come in. 

It can be daunting buying a vibrator, especially if it’s not something you’ve done before. But, as well as helping you explore new sensations, using a vibrator increases blood flow to your vulva and vagina – increasing sensitivity and helping you reach new pleasure highs. 

Gwen is a super soft, flexible and water-safe clitoral vibrator which is a great place to start. It offers ten vibrating patterns so you can choose your preferred speed and intensity, and its curved design means it’s perfect for trying on your own or with a partner. 

The Jo Divine IMMY (formerly the Slinky Pinky and Slinky Kama Blue) is another great vibrator; it’s small in size and offers three different speeds and four vibration patterns to choose from. 

Ready to dabble with dilators?

Dilators are tube-shaped devices that are available in a range of sizes (from finger-size to much larger) and can be prescribed by your doctor. 

Using dilators is a process that involves careful, comfortable and slow insertion into the vagina. This can help with adhesion and scar management, but it also helps reduce anxiety and increase confidence in avoiding painful sex or smear tests. 

You start with the smallest size and then increase this over time. While many dilators are made from unforgiving plastic, Soul Source dilators have been designed by a sex therapist and gynaecologist. They are made from soft, flexible silicone rubber to mimic natural body tissue and can be warmed or cooled and come in a range of eight sizes.

Say Oh Yes with Ohnut

If you’re finding deep penetrative sex uncomfortable, the anxiety can feed into a cycle of muscle contraction and further pain. 

Ohnut is a revolutionary wearable solution that allows you to explore different penetration depths. It’s made of four silicone stacking rings that sit at the base of the penetrating partner to create a comfortable cushion and prevent sex from getting too deep. This ingenious sex toy puts the power back in your hands and allows you to enjoy as much – or as little – penetration as you like. 

Lavish lubrication

Due to the natural decline in vaginal lubrication during the menopause, learning how to overcome vaginal dryness and investing in a good quality lube is more important than ever to help you have the best menopausal sex. 

The YES, YES, YES range of products are all hypoallergenic and contain no harsh chemicals, parabens, glycerin, silicones or mineral oils.  They are pH matched to the vagina and specifically formulated for good gynaecological health. 

The water-based lubricant offers a natural feeling and the oil-based lubricant is a more luxurious longer-lasting lubricant that will help protect the sensitive tissues of the vulva and vagina.

For complete bliss, try applying the oil-based lubricant to yourself first, followed by your partner, so the two glide over each other.

If you’re wondering where to start, why not take a check out Jo Divine, which focuses on creating skin-safe products.