Menopause and disability: Laura Bibby’s story

What Laura enjoys about menopause

Honestly, there are some great perks! First off, no more periods—no cramps, no planning outfits around your cycle, and I can finally wear white jeans whenever I want without worry! Plus, there is no more fear of an unplanned pregnancy, which is a huge relief.

Perimenopause and menopause don’t discriminate—it’s something every woman faces, and chances are, you’ll either be going through it or supporting someone who is. And honestly, being part of this “gang” feels like a privilege. I’ve survived and made it to my mid-40s!

Then there’s the built-in thermostat—sure, hot flashes can be intense, but they keep you warm in the winter! And with all the hormonal shifts, I’ve noticed a refreshing zero-tolerance policy kicking in. You get to be more direct, which can be liberating.

Oh, and early bedtimes? You’re guilt-free now. The little things like that make this new phase feel like gaining a different kind of freedom.

A note on contraception: Pregnancy is still possible during perimenopause, even when periods are irregular. HRT isn’t contraception. Your healthcare professional can advise when you can safely stop using contraception.

Getting menopause symptoms recognised

Honestly, one of the hardest things is getting validation from the medical profession. It’s often treated as something you must “suck up” or stop being melodramatic about. There’s a real refusal to acknowledge that a 44-year-old woman can experience these symptoms, and don’t even get me started on the lack of understanding around testosterone! It’s more than just about increasing your libido—though that’s a nice perk! For me, not having brain fog and remembering my own name is way more important.

And then there’s the eye-rolling from men whenever menopause comes up in conversation. But you know what? I’ve made it my best dinner party topic! I want to educate everyone, from my daughters to my elderly aunties, because no woman should suffer in silence or feel dismissed.

A note on testosterone: Testosterone may be considered for ongoing low sexual desire associated with menopause when HRT alone hasn’t helped and other possible causes have been assessed. There isn’t enough evidence to recommend it specifically for brain fog or memory problems.

Recognising perimenopause after a spinal cord injury

On reflection, I probably hit perimenopause around the same time I was newly diagnosed with a spinal cord injury—right as the country went into lockdown. With all the anxiety and uncertainty, I assumed my constant joint pain, tiredness, and brain fog were just part of the spinal cord injury. But when depression crept in, I knew it wasn’t just another symptom of living with an SCI.

When my doctor told me, I’d never walk again. I looked him in the eye and thought, “F**k you.” I wasn’t going to sit around and rot, so I invested in intensive (and expensive!) rehab. Now, I walk with mobility aids—and I never once felt depressed during that journey. So, when the depression hit, it didn’t add up.

My lightbulb moment came around when Davina McCall released her book on menopause. As a fan, I decided to check it out. That’s when I realised what was going on with me.

Accessible exercise and self-care

My self-care superhero is embracing what makes you feel alive and at peace.

My daughters love hopping onto my lap as we wheel through parks, shops, and the countryside together. It’s not exactly what I envisioned, but life’s never dull with four kids hanging off your wheelchair! Life is for living; I’ve embraced it with humour and love. There’s always an adventure, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Surround yourself with people who truly make you happy—those genuine friends who get your sense of humour and understand you without judgment. I’m lucky to have friends from school who have shared this journey with me, just like in the old days with boys and snogging, but now it’s with much more depth and understanding.

It’s essential to find time for yourself. It’s something that helps you quiet the noise in your head. Before my injury, I was a keen runner and even a yoga teacher. While running marathons is off the table now, I’ve found new passions in adaptive yoga and horse riding—it turns out horses don’t care if you’re on two legs or four wheels!  Ironically, I’ve never been a big animal fan, but horses are magical. They offer a soothing, almost cleansing hug and a free spirit that helps release tension and anxiety, which we all need to do when living in the fast-paced modern world.

Fresh air is incredibly good for the soul. I live by the sea, and there’s something truly therapeutic about bundling up on a cold day, letting the wind blow away the cobwebs, and walking along the beach. It works wonders.

Family support and everyday comforts

Without sounding too corny, having a supportive husband has been my absolute rock. He’s made this stage of my life feel more like a gentle stroll in the park rather than a rollercoaster nightmare. I know not everyone has this luxury, and it’s a privilege I often take for granted—oops, menopause brain strikes again!

And let’s be real; there are some other essentials I couldn’t live without: chocolate (especially peanut M&Ms), yoga, and a good curry. It’s amazing how these little things—a sweet treat, a calming practice, or a delicious meal—can make even the toughest days more bearable and enjoyable!’

Accessible exercise and menopause support

Finding an activity you enjoy can take a little exploring. These organisations offer information and options you can discuss with your healthcare professional or activity provider.

• Adaptive Yoga Live: Adapted yoga classes. Contact the team to discuss the format and support you need.
• Riding for the Disabled Association: Horse-related activities for disabled people, including riding and carriage driving. Availability varies between local groups.
• Activity Alliance: Information to help disabled people find inclusive activities.
• We Are Undefeatable: Five-minute movement routines with seated and standing options for people living with long-term health conditions.
• MMC’s British Sign Language resources: Menopause information and videos with BSL for people who are D/deaf or hard of hearing.

Before joining a class, ask about access, equipment, and adaptations so you can decide whether it’s suitable for you.