Eleanor Mills, midlife pioneer

1. The best thing about menopause is….

Not being in agony every month from painful periods, that felt like a HUGE relief. I also think there is a great sense of freedom and a sense of coming into one’s true self. In my book, I write that 50 is when we finally become the women we always wanted to be. There is a sense of having ticked everyone else’s boxes and at last asking ourselves: who am I really? what do I want?  The best question I was ever asked was when I was going to be made redundant after 23 years at the Sunday Times and someone asked: what would you do if you weren’t afraid? That was when I articulated for the first time my dream to set up my Noon community for women in midlife, which helps and supports them through midlife transitions.

2. The worst thing about menopause is…

Hot flushes – it’s quite incredible how one’s internal thermostat feels permanently on the blink. I go from feeling freezing to boiling almost instantly. I’ve totally stopped wearing make-up because it just fell off my face. But when I hear from my  queenagers in our Noon community about brain fog and depression, I feel grateful that heat is my only real symptom. I don’t take HRT because I trust my body and this process and feel it is alchemising me into a new version of myself. There needs to be room for all of us to make our own decisions and not feel pressurised into doing anything that doesn’t work for us. Every woman is different.

3. My lightbulb moment was…

Realising that, post menopause, we are freed from being seen through the lens of biology. The patriarchy values women overwhelmingly for being young, fecund and fanciable. It is important that we don’t mistake that particular male lens for where our true value lies. Just because the patriarchy only values women for how they can service it, doesn’t mean we are not valuable as we age. Seeing ourselves through the male lens is like only seeing ourselves as women in black and white: we have so many more qualities than just being fanciable and fertile. I prefer to see my queenagers in full, bright, technicolour, valuing women for ALL we can be: clever, talented, strong, creative, kind, intelligent, passionate, forthright, courageous, stout. Moving into this new realm is all about no longer having to be pleasing; women don’t owe anyone pretty. Being a queenager is about doing exactly what WE want to do and no longer being full of ‘should’ dictated by others

4. My self-care superhero is…

Swimming in cold water every day. Meditating every morning. Eating more protein. Taking more rest because I deserve it. Slowing down  and no longer being addicted to busyness.

5. I couldn’t live without…

Being able to speak my truth and sharing this wonderful queenager stage of life with all the women in our amazing Noon community. When women support each other it is not only joyous, but we become invincible! Every time I sit down with a circle of other midlife women, I see how much we can lift each other up, encourage each other to be courageous and live our dreams. This is a new script we are writing for women living the 100 year life. We are pioneers, enjoying the independence and health span no other women in history have ever had. That is why we need to chart the path, show the women coming behind us that at 50 we’re just getting started.’

‘Much More To Come’ by Eleanor Mills is out now. To find out more about Noon head here

Photo: Rankin

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